You Call THAT Love?
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Pre-TPM, Obi is 13. (Humor) A bit of snuggling upsets a padawan. (Part 1 written by BL Anderson, Part 2 written by Obi the Kid)
1. Default Chapter

TITLE: You call THAT love? (PART 1 of a collaboration fic with Obi the Kid)  
AUTHOR: B. L. Lindley-Anderson  
E-MAIL: Anderson@hiwaay.net  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, Obi is 13. (Humor) A bit of snuggling upsets a padawan.  
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.  
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.  
OBI'S WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/  
B.L.'S WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/al2/lneeson  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.  
  
NOTES: Part 2 of this story will be written by Obi the Kid and is the latest in our series of collaboration fics.  
  
===========================  
You Call THAT Love? (PART 1)  
===========================  
  
The door chime sounded and it was a race between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to get to the door first. The master's long legs gave him the advantage and he gently pushed his padawan to the side as he hit a button to open the door.  
  
"Hi Stretch. Hi Kid. How are you two? I see you haven't killed each other yet."  
  
"Funny Bren," Qui-Gon replied as he planted a kiss on her cheek. "Come in and get comfortable. Obi-Wan was just going to his room."  
  
"I was," the boy replied in surprise. "But I thought we..."  
  
"We are going to watch a holo-vid and talk. You are going to study, meditate and then to bed with you. And...no objections."  
  
"Well, I am going to object," Obi-Wan said as he put his hands on his hips.  
  
The elder Jedi turned back around. "You are?" he said in a low voice and dark eyes.  
  
"Uh...well...no I guess I'm not," the padawan said hesitantly.  
  
"I thought not. Now...go."  
  
"Yes Master," the boy replied petulantly then stomped away.  
  
"And close the door...all the way."  
  
"Yes Master."  
  
Bren stepped close to the tall knight and looked up into his blue eyes. "You're cute when you're bossy."  
  
"I could say the same about you."  
  
"But you won't."  
  
"Why not?" he said in puzzlement.  
  
"Because I would break your arm. I'm not bossy."  
  
"No Bren. You're completely right. You are not bossy. Ready for a quiet evening together?" He led her to the sofa.  
  
"What are we going to watch?"  
  
"Does it matter?" Qui-Gon sat down and picked up the remote for the video monitor, which Bren promptly grabbed from his hand. "Yes, you may have the remote...Master Bren."  
  
The woman glared slightly at him and then dug her fingers into his side...just at the spot where she knew he was most ticklish. Qui-Gon yelped in surprise and laughter and tried to shield his sensitive sides. "Okay, okay, I surrender."  
  
"Yes, you do," Bren grinned. She playfully tugged at his beard.  
  
"OW! Careful! That hurt."  
  
"Aw. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to pull that hard. It was supposed to be a love tug. More like this." Bren barely pulled this time. "Always did like that beard. It becomes you so." She ran her fingertips gently through it.  
  
"Now that tickles," Qui-Gon complained as he pulled her hand away and scratched his chin vigorously.  
  
"Aw...Qui-Poo. Did I upset the big bad Jedi? I'm sorry," she pouted. "You're just too cute. If you weren't such a big...cute...handsome...Jedi master...I wouldn't want to pick on you so much."  
  
Qui-Gon suddenly sat up straight. "Shh! Listen." He strained to hear. "Obi-Wan, is that you?"  
  
"No Master," a muffled voice answered.  
  
"You'd better have that door closed," he called back while he strained in the dim light to see if the door was indeed closed. There was no answer, no other sound.  
  
"It's all right, Qui-Poo. He's a good kid."  
  
"You don't know him at all. But...where were we?"  
  
"We were right here, Snuggle Ewok." Bren ran her hands through his long chestnut and grey hair. "Does that make ooo feel better? Let Bren-Bren make you relax."  
  
"Does Bren-Bren know how to make a headache go away?"  
  
"Awwwwwwww...does him have a nasty headache?" Bren kissed his forehead. "Turn around and face me." He complied and she began to gently rub his temples. "Is that better Sweet Knees?"  
  
"Mmmmm...that's great," he whispered as he allowed his head to tip forward.  
  
"That's my liiiiiittle Jedi man. Just let Bren-Bren rub the pain away." She felt Qui-Gon stiffen under her hands. "What's wrong?"  
  
The Jedi lifted his head and looked toward his apprentice's room again. He listened. "Obi-Wan, what are you doing?"  
  
"Just studying Master."  
  
"If I have to get up..."  
  
"Qui, leave the kid alone. He's old enough to look after himself for one night. Now...come back to Brrrrrrr."  
  
Qui-Gon grinned. He whirled around and lay back on the sofa with his head in Bren's lap. "That okay?"  
  
"That's perfect my little Love Dumpling." She began tracing patterns on his face with a finger, ending up in his beard, gently tickling it. "You handsome devil."  
  
"I am rather handsome, aren't I?"  
  
"And soooooooooo modest too."  
  
Bren began braiding his long hair.  
  
"Hey, don't do that!"  
  
"Why are men SO sensitive about that? It's all right for you padawan, but not for you? Just trust your little Cupcake. I just want to make you relax."  
  
"All right...but you're going to take that out before you leave." Bren took a lock of his hair and began running it down the length of his face. "Mmm...tickles...but not too much."  
  
"Yes, Bren-Bren knows what she is doing. You just relax and let her take care of you, you Stud Muffin."  
  
"Shh...Obi-Wan is probably listening. I just know he is. That boy..."  
  
"Shh...just forget about your padawan. Just think about relaxing. My wiiiittle Jedi Cutie-Wutie."  
  
Qui-Gon laughed. "You need some nicknames. Hmm...Teddy Jeddy."  
  
They both laughed and Bren goosed his side again. "That's so silly."  
  
"And Cutie-Wutie isn't?"  
  
"Ooo don't like ooour nickname, Qui-Qui?"  
  
"Obi-Wan! Is that you laughing?"  
  
"No Master. I can't study if you keep bothering me."  
  
"Qui-Qui...just reeeeeeeeeeeeeeelax and let your wittle Teddy Jeddy make ooour headache goooooo away. Did ooo have a nasty time with the council today? Did that lil troll give ooo a hard time?" She began massaging his scalp. "Let it alllllll go. Bren-Bren is going to fix everything and make it alllll better." She leaned forward and gently kissed his lips.  
  
"Mmmm...that helps." Qui-Gon closed his eyes while she continued rubbing his head.  
  
"Does that make lil Qui-Poo allll relaxed? He's a big strong Jedi to the rest of the temple, but to me he's my lil Qui-Qui."  
  
"Now I know I heard laughing that time."  
  
"It doesn't matter Stretchie-Poo. You forget about eeeeeeeeeeverything and let me make it all better. How are you going to relax if you won't let things go? You're going to end up with an ulcer," she said quietly.  
  
"Only because of Obi-Wan. You don't know what it's like with him sometimes. He..."  
  
Bren planted another kiss, to shush his complaint. "Tonight you don't have an apprentice. It's just Bren-Bren and her lil furry Qui."  
  
"Mmmm...what did I do to deserve this?"  
  
"I don't know, but you should remember. It might inspire me to baby you even more some other time."  
  
"Maybe we could slip out for a walk. I don't trust him."  
  
"I'm comfortable riiiiiiiiight here in the lair of my Jedi bear. I've got something for you."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Here. I got this on my last trip off planet. Just for my Stud Muffin."  
  
Qui-Gon sat up to open the box. Like a kid, he hurriedly ripped the paper away and tore the box open. The Jedi held up a pair of bright blue boxers with red hearts sprinkled all over. "Bren! I'm NOT wearing these!"  
  
She laughed. "That's your choice. But I did think of my lil Jedi when I saw them." Her eyes twinkled mischievously.  
  
"I have to hide these. If Obi-Wan ever saw them.... I remember the other boxers...the ones that..."  
  
"That what?"  
  
"Oh...nothing. Nothing. But if he ever saw these." Qui-Gon held them up again. Now he knew without a doubt he heard laughing. The man jumped up and hurried to Obi-Wan's door. As he suspected it was slightly open. Qui-Gon pushed it the rest of the way and walked in. Obi-Wan was lying on the floor laughing hysterically. "OBI-WAN!"  
  
The boy was on his feet instantly. "Yes Master," he tried to say without laughing. The padawan would not look his master in the face.  
  
"Studying? I thought I told you to close the door."  
  
"But I...it must have...I...."  
  
"I'll deal with you later. Get in the bed and don't move. I'm going to walk Bren back to her room...and then...I'll be back. You may die soon."  
  
"Uh...ah...I'm sorry Master."  
  
"Yeah, I can tell. Your eyes gleam when you say it. TO BED! NOW!" He turned and stomped out.  
  
Just before the door closed behind him he heard, "Nice underwear Master."  
  
END of Part 1  
  
Part 2 by Obi the Kid coming soon...  



	2. Chapter 2

TITLE: You call THAT Love? (Part 2 of a collaboration fic with B.L. Anderson)  
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid  
E-MAIL: hlnkid@aol.com  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Pre-TPM, Obi is 13. (Humor) A bit of snuggling upsets a padawan.  
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.  
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.  
OBI'S WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/  
B.L.'S WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/al2/lneeson  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.  
  
NOTES: Part 1 of this story was written by B.L. Anderson and is the latest in our series of collaboration fics.  
  
============================  
You Call THAT Love? (PART 2)  
============================  
  
Qui-Gon escorted Bren home, all the while cursing Obi-Wan under his breath.  
  
"Don't be to hard on him Qui, he's just a boy. He's not even hit puberty yet. It's just harmless laughter."  
  
The tall Jedi shook his head. "Harmless to you, but you don't have to live with his constant giggling. He won't let this go, I know him. And once he leaves the apartment, it will only be a matter of hours before the entire Temple knows all your nicknames for me. The boy has a mouth on him that cannot be controlled."  
  
Arriving at Bren's quarters, Qui-Gon leaned down and kissed her goodnight. "I will see you tomorrow."  
  
"Count on it Sweet Knees."  
  
Qui-Gon blushed before turning to walk away. As he made the trip home, he centered himself, taking deep calming breaths. **Maybe I'll just get him a muzzle for his birthday, or a roll of duct tape.**  
  
One last breath, and he entered his quarters. Obi-Wan was sitting on the couch watching the latest Lima Wean holo called, Troll Trader. Nervously he nibbled on his bottom lip. But every few seconds a small laugh would escape as he remembered one of the names Bren had given his master.   
  
The young Jedi cowered slightly as Qui-Gon stood before him, towering over the boy.  
  
"Master, I can't see the monitor. This is the good part coming up here, could you just move to the left a tiny bit...I...um..."  
  
The monitor was flipped off. "No Lima holo's for a week for what you pulled tonight. And that is just the beginning. I told you to stay in your room and close the door, did I not?"  
  
"Yes master. But..." A raised hand silenced him.  
  
"And you took it upon yourself to allow that door to stay open, not only so you could listen in on what was supposed to be a PRIVATE evening for Bren and I, but also so your annoying little comments and laughs could be heard by me. Correct?"  
  
Obi-Wan turned his gaze downward. "Yes master, but you have to admit, that was funny. Snuggle Ewok."  
  
"Cute perhaps, but not funny. Is it that much to ask for you to give Bren and I a little privacy now and then?"  
  
"No master."  
  
"Then why did you act as you did?"  
  
"Because it was funny. I am never gonna let a girl call me those names. Love Dumpling, Cutie-Wutie, Teddy Jeddy. Ha! Ha! Hahahahahahahahaha! Sorry master."  
  
"If you must know, that is Bren's way of expressing affection towards me. You will be so lucky someday to have someone like her in your life."  
  
A small laughed was stifled. "If you say so master. Or should I call you Qui-poo?"  
  
Qui-Gon was not amused. "Obi-Wan so help me, if you blab this all over the Temple, you will die before you reach fourteen. I am NOT kidding. This is private between Bren and I. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
The smirking apprentice nodded. "I understand master. I won't tell a soul."  
  
"Why do I think that I will see Bantha's fly before I believe what you just said?"  
  
"Because of the past problems I've had with my big mouth?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Do you love Master Bren?"  
  
"Yes I do."  
  
"Then can I ask you something?"  
  
Qui-Gon was wary, but allowed the questioning. "I suppose so."  
  
"You call THAT love? Calling you silly and disgusting nicknames, tickling your beard, pinching your love handles. Do you know how hard it was for me to make sure my dinner stayed in my stomach? That is NOT love master, that is just...weird. I will NEVER be caught dead doing that."  
  
"I am not even going there padawan. I've seen you chasing after Padawan Robi. Even though she's much older than you. When you are a bit older, you will find someone you care about, and will learn to savior the evenings that you can spend ALONE! Since I have you, it's difficult for me to find times like that to spend with Bren."  
  
Obi-Wan shrugged. "It's still disgusting. Qui-Qui. Stud Muffin."  
  
"How do you recall all those names? Did you...no, you didn't." He strode into Obi-Wan's bedroom, opened his physics book and found a small piece of white paper with the boy's handwriting on it. He yelled to his apprentice. "OBI-WAN! GET IN HERE NOW!"  
  
Bouncing off the couch, Obi-Wan ran into his room. He cringed when he saw what his master held. "I can uh...explain that master."  
  
"I certainly hope so. You wrote down EVERY SINGLE NAME SHE CALLED ME!"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"WHY? And don't lie to me. Why did you do this?"  
  
There was a chime at the door. Qui-Gon grabbed Obi-Wan's braid, pulling him to a stop. "I will get the door. You STAY!"  
  
The big teacher opened the door to find Padawan Robi standing there. "Hi Master Jinn, is Obi here?"  
  
"He is yes, but he's unable to leave quarters right now."   
  
Obi-Wan poked his head out from his room. He saw Robi and walked slowly out to stand at his master's side. "Hi Robi, I can't, um...you know, It'll have to be another night."  
  
Cocking his head to one side, Qui-Gon questioned his student. "Padawan?"  
  
Robi's expression turned sad. "Oh my wittle Obi-Wobi, I was so looking forward to spending a few hours snuggling on the couch with you. My handsome Stud Pad." She moved towards the younger apprentice. Qui-Gon intervened.  
  
"That is far enough young lady. Stud Pad? Obi-Wan care to explain? I thought talk like that made you sick?"  
  
Now caught, Obi-Wan stumbled for his words. "I...uh...well...it's sickening for old people to do it, but for the younger generation, it's a true sign of affection."  
  
"Old people? Okay, I can see our talk did nothing. Padawan Robi, I will ask you to leave. You're wittle Obi-Wobi will be out of commission for some time to come. And if I do say so myself, you are much to old for him. He is banned from dating until he's twenty-one."  
  
"MASTER???"  
  
"Not a word padawan. Not a word. Goodnight Robi."  
  
"Yes, of course, goodnight Master Jinn. Goodnight Sweet Cheeks."  
  
"Sweet Cheeks? GO HOME ROBI! NOW!"  
  
Qui-Gon let the door slam shut, then faced his apprentice. "I am not happy Obi-Wan."  
  
"But, we were just going to cuddle on the couch for a bit, like you and Master Bren. Why can you do it, but we can't?"  
  
"Because you are thirteen, and it is inappropriate for you to be on the couch alone with an older apprentice."  
  
"So, if Robi was my age, it would be okay?"  
  
"NO! It wouldn't. You are my student. Your mind should not be clouded with such things right now."  
  
"But, yours can?"  
  
"No, I mean, yes. Stop that. I am a master and an adult. You are...not. I forbid you to sit on the couch."  
  
"I can't sit on the couch ever again?"  
  
"With another apprentice. You know what I mean."  
  
"Master you seem a bit tense about this. Are you mad because I messed up your evening with Master Bren?"  
  
A heavy sigh escaped the master lips. "I know what you are trying to do to me. Drive me insane. It's not working. You know I am mad because of that. Don't try and confuse me. Bren confuses me enough. I want you to go to bed. We will talk more about this tomorrow."  
  
"Yes master. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight padawan, sleep well."  
  
"You too Sweet Knees. HAHAHAHA! That one kills me!"  
  
A barrage of Force thrown pillows attacked Obi-Wan as he ran for his room and closed the door.  
  
*******  
  
The next days were uneventful. Qui-Gon was impressed at how, it seemed, Obi-Wan was able to keep his mouth shut about that night. Normally, he'd been running his lips all over the planet by now. As he watched his padawan spar with another his age, he heard the familiar 'tap tap' sound of a walking stick hitting the ground. He turned to find Master Yoda standing next to him.  
  
"Impressive young Kenobi is. Quite capable he has become with the light saber."  
  
"Yes master. He's come a long way in this first year. Master, why are you here? It's unusual for you to watch young padawans spar."  
  
"Unusual it is. However waiting for someone I am."  
  
A few minutes later, Obi-Wan had completed his duel and ran over to great his master. He bowed to Master Yoda, before facing Qui-Gon. "Master."  
  
"Well done padawan. Your skills are improving everyday."  
  
A smile lit the boy's face. "Thank you master. Why is Master Yoda here?"  
  
"He's awaiting company."  
  
Just then, Yaddle approached the small group. She greeted the taller Jedi with a brief bow, then threw herself at Yoda. "My snuggle troll you are. Wuv you I do. My wittle Yoda Soda."  
  
Obi-Wan immediately felt the bile rising in his throat.  
  
"My handsome Troll Stud. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Wuv you, wuv you."  
  
By now, the apprentice's face had turned green. He reached out for Qui-Gon's hand. "Oh master, this is bad. I will never make fun of you and Master Bren again. But this...this is going to be a problem for me. Can we go, please?"  
  
"My sexy Troll Muffin you are."  
  
"Master, PLEASE!!!"  
  
Qui-Gon was dizzy. He felt himself fading. "Huh? I think. I um...do Bren and I look like that? Are we that sickening? I mean, this is just...not right."  
  
"Master, let's go," the boy said as he attempted to pull Qui-Gon away from the now intimate Trolls. "Oh, this is getting worse. BAD IMAGE! GET OUT! VERY BAD IMAGE!"  
  
Finally the boy was successful in getting his teacher to move away, but Qui-Gon was still in shock. He stayed that way until Bren found them, and quickly embraced him. "What's wrong?"  
  
Obi-Wan pointed towards the two small masters in the gym.  
  
"Oh Force no."  
  
Pulling away, Qui-Gon looked deeply in to Bren's eyes. "Promise me, that you will never again use those nicknames when we are together. Please."  
  
"But why? What do the Trolls have to do with it?"  
  
"Just trust me on this. Stick with Qui-Poo and be done. Okay?"  
  
"Obi, what's going on?"  
  
Pondering what to do for a moment, Obi-Wan dragged Bren closer to the green masters, so she could hear the words.  
  
"Oh, that is...it's just...I mean...THAT is gonna give me the creeps. No wonder Qui is so upset." She hurried back to the older master and hugged him once more. "It's okay Qui, I won't torture you anymore with those silly names. Just the thought of...THAT, is enough to stop me."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes really."  
  
"Thank you. We can still cuddle without the names, right?"  
  
"We sure can. Let's get away from here before things get anymore...uh...intense."  
  
They quickly left the gym behind and began the walk home. Obi-Wan's attention was drawn away from the masters when he heard the voice from behind.  
  
"There you are my wittle Obi-Wobi. I missed you. Can we snuggle wuggle now?"  
  
The boy backed away from Padawan Robi. "Uh, no, we can't. I have to...um...uh...I'm being punished. Yes, punished. I can't date until I become a Knight. Sorry, master's orders."  
  
He began a fast paced walk to catch up to Qui-Gon, but Robi was hot on his heels. "Come back Luvy Duvy. Don't run."  
  
"MASTER HELP MEEEEEE!"   
  
For the next hour Obi-Wan ran laps around the Temple making every attempt to escape the wrath of Robi. Eventually he managed to elude her. Arriving back at his apartment, he found his master, and Master Bren cuddling on the couch. "Oh, not again? Don't you know, this is how this entire thing started?"  
  
Picking his large frame off the couch, Qui-Gon went to his apprentice. "Yes, again. We need some time to ourselves, especially after that scene in the gym. But, no silly nicknames this time. However, you will spend the time sleeping, and I will make sure you are sleeping.   
  
"But master, it's only the noon hour. I can't sleep when it's still light outside."  
  
"Oh, yes you can." He put a hand to the tanned forehead, and with a small Force suggestion, Obi-Wan went limp in his arms. Lifting the small Jedi up, he cradled him gently, placed him in his bed, and tucked the blanket around the youngster. Dimming the light and shutting the door behind him, Qui-Gon returned to the couch. "Now, where were we?"  
  
"You were just about to tell me where your most ticklish spot is."  
  
"Oh no I wasn't."  
  
"Oh yes you were." Bren attacked him with her hands, and before long, found every ticklish spot there was.   
  
Meanwhile, back at the gym, Yoda and Yaddle sat quietly. Each donning a cigarette and puffing smoke rings at the other.  
  
In his bedroom, Obi-Wan's head was filled with bad image after bad image. Sweet Knees, and Qui-Poo's. Troll Luv and Obi-Wobi. He promised himself he would never snuggle with anyone, ever again.  
  
END  



End file.
